So much confined in a single word.
Like falling into an abyss without a bottom. Falling, terrified to accept that I am. Eyes so full of memories they can barely contain tears. Arms, lost when they can’t find your body to squeeze and have you tell me the world is still alright, still alright.
I can’t accept this. I can’t, I can’t, I can’t, I chant feverishly to myself over and over again. I cover my eyes and pretend you’re standing right in front, just hiding. I put in my earphones and imagine telling you about the part of the song that makes me want to hear it so bad, and then I remember you aren’t around, and I hate everything about music.
My stomach is a tumultuous place, with it turning over every time someone mentions your name in casual conversation. My heart races, wondering if these people realize how lucky they are that they can just pick up this piece of metal they call a smartphone and get to hear your voice, anytime they want.
I have never wanted to be more.
Title: Guns n’ Roses, Sweet Child O’ Mine.