What did you do last night?
Did you go to a party, get drunk, and laugh with your friends? Did you dance till the wee hours of the morning, celebrate the beautiful month that September is? Did you go on a long drive, with the stereo playing your favorite music and the wind rustling through your hair? Did you crush some tobacco, make little balls out of hash and roll a joint? Did you smoke up and think of happy times, maybe held a girl’s hand?
What did I do last night? I fought against you, as I do every night. I ravaged my bed, and I woke up to pillows, sheets and my earphones on the floor. I fought the useless fight I fight every night, and ended up losing for the thousandth time. I screamed and I shivered, and I woke up shaking twice. I sat upright every time I heard a door bang in the distance or footsteps in the corridor. I failed at sleeping, and I failed at fighting you off. I woke up with a bad taste in my mouth and revulsion in my belly. I tried not to hate every inch of my skin. But I went to the loo and sobbed and clawed my face out, then washed it with water. I tried walking without thinking of my body as not mine, I tried walking without looking at the raining sky and shouting my lungs out.