Epiphanies

Do you have sudden epiphanies about yourself, or is it just me? Randomly, in the middle of the day (more often night) something about you strikes you that seems to make so much sense. It has always happened with me. Recently, the frequency has gone up.

You know that rhetoric about not taking people for granted? How you should tell those that you love, that you love them; today? If you are on Facebook or Instagram or Tumblr these posts must be throwing themselves at you, what with the Christmas week and the upcoming new year. These are things you hear from so many people. But a couple of days ago, it hit me suddenly.

What did I want from the people I care most about, the people I love? What makes me feel close to them? What makes me feel happy? It is, actually, being taken for granted. Yes, the realization shocked me in place for a few seconds. But then it all made sense.

I want to be your go-to person, the one you call when you are completely wasted at 2am, not the one who gets an ‘I love you too! :)’ reply to an ‘I miss you’ every three months. I’d rather be the person you talk to everyday and laugh with and not realize how much you care about, than someone who gets me a huge personal card with amazing handwritten things on my birthday, but someone who I don’t get together with often.

For me, being taken for granted is the ultimate sign of love and care. Is it merely saying I miss you or love you more or sharing my life with you? Yes, of course the negative side of being taken for granted is also there – the other person does not respect your time, thinks you are available whenever they want you to be, probably doesn’t ask you ¬†about yourself as much as they talk about themselves. But that’s exactly what I love.

Weird? I don’t know. Unhealthy? Maybe.

It does make sense in my head.

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