‘I don’t hurt people.’ He said. ‘That’s not who I am.’
A voice inside me instinctively said, ‘Me too’ but just as I was going to say it, those words died in my throat. When was the last time I had gone for a long time without hurting anyone? Just a few days ago, I had promised Him I would not hurt Him. I had resolved, firmly, that I would be the best person He had ever met. He would love me not because He was generous, but for once, because I actually deserved it.
And yet, here we are.
They say intentions matter. I never meant to hurt anyone. But somehow my actions lead to it. Stupidity. I feel like a blind man in a crockery shop who promises not to break anything, but fails again and again.
But do intentions matter, really? Hitler believed he was creating a purer, stronger human race. His intention was never to simply kill, he envisioned himself as a bringer of better times, intent on re-creating humans as the strongest species. A burglar who ends up killing the house-owner never had the intention to do so.
Actions matter, not intentions. Maybe I was just protecting myself when I thought otherwise. Time to change, again? Learning from mistakes is not as easy as it seems. One misplaced word, and all you were working towards falls to the ground.