All those random movie scenes I had laughed at, where the female is running on the road towards some place with tears running down her face, came back to me. How impractical, how unreal, I remember thinking. Then I’d pop a few more kernels of popcorn in my mouth and guffaw at the stupidity of the woman.
Sigh. How the tables turn. I was that woman today.
A moment of comprehension, of the falling down of something glorious and good you had envisioned over and over again, worked hard for, and imagined happening in your head countless times : vanished in one moment. And, of course, the waterworks started with the realization that no one bothered to inform me. So much expectation, so little gain. Had I been a cool-minded person, I would have gone on and participated in what little dregs of the goodness remained for me – but the immediacy of the impact of ‘everything over’ was so severe. Running, fleeing from the very thing a few minutes ago I had been so eager to be a part of. Blurry eyes, a balloon growing larger and larger in my throat, shirt fluttering in the wind, rushing breathless to the solitary confinement of my room. Oddly enough, thinking of my Mom, even wishing I could be home.
And I guess I have a penchant for the dramatic.
